Hello there!

I’m truly excited you are here and while I’m excited to be here too, I’ll be honest, there’s a long list of reasons why I’m terrified at the prospect of this blog. I’m sure I’ll get into them some point, but because of those fears, I’ve successfully procrastinated this first step for no less than 2 years. So, for me, this is about time!

You can read a shorter version of the why behind the blog in the about section, but to kick things off, I’d like to start with what’s behind the name.

In other words, what is my current situation?

I could answer that question with a list of facts about me. My name is David Kraft. I’m a 32 year old living in DC. For many it’d be easy to look at my life and think that I have it made, that I have it all figured out. I own a home, have been successful in my career as an engineer, have an incredibly supportive family and group of friends. I have an active social life and have been successful in at least a few of my hobbies that over the years have included swimming, cycling, triathlons, surfing, and guitar. I have gone on cross-country road trips with friends, bike trips across Europe, and sailing trips around the Caribbean. At 32, by all respects, I have lived a full life.

Yet, as most often is the case, facts don’t tell the full story and the name for this post, comes from a story.

My family, with few exceptions over the last 50+ years, has traveled to southern North Carolina to spend a week in a beach-front cottage. It’s one of my favorite traditions we have. A full week to just play in the ocean, spend time in each other’s presence, to sit and read a book, to just be. My family isn’t small though, with my parents, three siblings, their spouses, and trail of seven nieces and nephews, our current tally is 16 humans with frequent additions of visitors including aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. All that under one roof for an entire week. Yeah, it’s not always the picture of serenity I painted at first, but it’s family, it’s tradition, and it’s amazing.

Providing food for this sort of a crowd for the week would be a daunting task (and hardly a vacation) for any one or two people to take up on their own, so we have a wonderful tradition of splitting the responsibility of cooking dinners amongst the adults. As with any tradition in a growing family with changing dynamics, there has had to be a certain level of adaptability to these types of logistics.

As we were preparing for the beach a few years ago, my mom, who is the ultimate planner as well as one of the most sensitive and empathetic people I know, sent an email to the family about splitting up meals through the week. She had gone carefully through her and my dad’s nights, each of my siblings, and then it came to my turn:

“…. In David’s current situation, he is on his own to make his meal. He needs some hands both in helping him get his groceries and in the kitchen prep/serving dept….”

In case that didn’t make it clear, my current situation is that I’m single. That reality came to light in this story four years ago as my younger brother’s lovely fiancé (now wife) was joining us at the beach for the first time. Since he and I had shared responsibility of a dinner for at least the previous 6 years, this quite literally singled me out. My mom was doing her best to be sensitive to my singleness, but it was hard for me to read those words and not get the impression that my singleness was some sort of disease or condition that couldn’t even be mentioned by name.

Now, I love my mom more than words can express, especially her sensitive and empathetic nature that’s highlighted in her words. Her desire was to ensure that I wouldn’t have to carry the burden of cooking for a group of 16 on my own. I know her well enough to know that was her intent, but that’s not quite how it came across. Fortunately, I was in a place that as I read it, I was able to laugh at the idea that my singleness was some sort of Harry Potter villain whose name we do not speak of. I responded to the email, thanking my mom that she was thinking of me, affirming her intent, and then followed up by reassuring her she could use the word single to describe me.

….by shying away from saying the word single, it was easy for me to walk away with the impression that it was something to be ashamed of.

Since then, we’ve had great conversations about ways we both can meet each other better with our words. One key point that has come out of those conversations, is that by shying away from saying the word single, it was easy for me to walk away with the impression that it was something to be ashamed of. Now, because of those honest conversations, “My Current Situation” has even become a bittersweet inside joke among friends (single or not) that reminds us with just three words that we all have current situations, but they shouldn’t be sources of shame, and they don’t define our worth.

While I found her words endearing and saw the love behind them, I also saw them as very telling, that “my current situation” can create interesting scenarios that can be difficult to navigate in a sensitive nature, even despite a strong desire to do so on her part, a strong foundation of trust between us, and at least reasonably good communication skills. It still required a clarifying conversation after the fact! As I talked to more people, I began to realize this can happen whether the current situation being addressed is prolonged singleness, miscarriages, infertility, discrimination, an unfulfilling job, or lack of one etc, etc, etc. I think this list could literally go on forever.

As I have become more aware of these misses happening around me, I’ve realized that there’s not an abundance of safe spaces for people to listen to each other’s stories, to fumble through shifting our perspectives from misconception and avoidance, to curiosity and understanding; for learning how we might better interact in these moments with some healthy guidance along the way, as we all battle lies that are fighting to define our self-worth.

My desire is that this blog will answer a part of that need. That it will be a place where people can talk about the struggles associated with our current situations, wherever and whatever they might be, and that we can learn from each other about the best ways to move towards each other in relationships, ways that cultivate curiosity, trust, love, and empathy.

The plan is to do this through the weekly telling of vulnerable short stories about life. With the hope that we’ll share in the successes and missteps of real people trying to live out their life in a way that is true to who they are, while respecting and loving those whose stories and struggles are different than our own. I have a strong belief that this is how real community happens, and it doesn’t just happen by accident, it’ll require intentionality, honesty and courage.

I’m a solid combination of nervous and excited to share my journey with you.

I’m even more excited to hear and learn from yours.

~David